M
arried couples are exquisitely tuned into each other. Each word each facial expression the subtle changes in voice and posture… these all convey worlds of information. Of course there is the spoken message and its meaning (“Please be nice to the waiter”) but there’s always the unspoken message as well (“Because I remember all the times you’ve embarrassed me in public and that has ruined some very important occasions so you better just order the food eat it and smile or you and I are going to have a big fight when we get home”).
Trying to Connect
In all communications the couple is first and foremost silently monitoring their moment-by-moment connection: “Are we good?” The smallest provocation triggers a huge racket. “I said ‘hello’ when I walked into the den where he was working and he just grunted. What was that about?”
From there it can go anywhere. “All I want is a pleasant greeting. Is that too much to ask for? I should get a divorce….”
Of course where it goes depends on the life history and personality of the offended person. But how one might wonder does a grunt lead to thoughts of divorce?
