In response to our article in Issue 939 about the fight to free agunos, a mother, a professional, and two agunos share their pain and wisdom
Anonymous
Behind every Agunah fighting her way to freedom is a mother sitting at home and wringing her hands.
I was that mother. Through a great miracle, my daughter received her get last year. Her experience as an agunah affected our family in ways that we never imagined. It’s painful for me to write about, and I’m sure it will be painful for others to read. The good news is that the episode is in her past, and we pray that her future looks bright. This is our story.
My daughter got married in 2012. My husband and I saw red flags, but they got brushed under the carpet. There was a beautiful, over-the-top wedding followed by a move across the world and a pregnancy a few months later. We worried from afar, but we tried to believe it was the fairytale that it seemed to be. Like every mother, I wanted all of my daughter’s dreams to come true, and her grand start at her wedding truly made her husband appear as her knight in shining armor.
The estrangement began with the birth of their first child. I guess that’s pretty typical in abusive marriages, but it came as a big shock to us. I literally couldn’t understand what was happening. Was my daughter rejecting me, her mother, at this important time in her life? Was there something I did? Did her husband just hate me? Couldn’t we talk it out? According to him, she was too busy, it was a bad time, maybe in a few weeks. And so the cycle began.
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