“It’s up to us to stop enabling our kids to make stupid choices because we want to be the cool parents, or have the fun house, or the rocking simchah”
Last week Wednesday, Mordy Berkowitz was sentenced to six years in jail for manslaughter while driving under the influence of alcohol. Mordy used the worst of situations to reach out to his contemporaries and educate them about the dangers of drinking and driving.
I believe that Mordy is paying a heavy price for an awful choice. But I don’t think he was the only one on trial last week. We haven’t heard from the family who hosted the toameha in Lakewood that awful Erev Shabbos. I’m quite certain those adults take responsibility for what occurred after Mordy left their home, and I’m sure they will live with that guilt for the rest of their lives. But the blame doesn’t stop there.
If you are an adult whose child has seen you drunk, you’re also accountable. If you’re a gabbai who has ordered enough liquor for your shul to allow anyone in the kehillah to get drunk, you’re accountable. If you’ve gone to Eretz Yisrael and hosted bochurim at a large meal and served more than enough booze to get someone else’s child drunk, you’re accountable. We’re the official adults in the room. It’s up to us to stop enabling our kids to make stupid choices because we want to be the cool parents, or have the fun house, or the rocking simchah. The buck stops with us.
My husband and I will be celebrating a family simchah in a few short weeks. We will serve toameha. We will host bochurim. Please join us in serving less alcohol. Join us in teaching our kids that one shot or one glass of wine is fine, that there is a middle ground here. I’m not saying we won’t serve liquor at all. I’m saying that it shouldn’t be enough to allow any one person to leave your simchah or home drunk. It’s time for us to parent and take responsibility for our collective children.
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