“An ADHD diagnosis is a lot more than just opening the gates to medication (which, in many cases, can actually be life-changing)”
I’m writing in response to A.L., who referenced the culpability of those who provide alcohol to those who go on to become drunk and cause accidents, etc. I found myself nodding along to the points she made, until the last paragraph.
Firstly, I’d like to take issue with the whole concept of toameha. While it’s common courtesy for a host to provide refreshments to guests arriving from afar on a Friday afternoon — a piece of cake, some potato kugel, perhaps — I have never heard that it is a mitzvah to host a lavish spread on an Erev Shabbos, especially on short winter Fridays. It must surely impact one’s ability to fully enjoy the Friday night meal, which one is supposed to anticipate with a healthy appetite, not coming off a mini (or maxi) seudah just a short while before.
The writer then goes on to say that she will be hosting a toameha and only serving alcohol in limited quantity. Given the recent tragedy, and probably others of which we don’t know, and the fact that people are showing up drunk for Shabbos meals, why does the writer feel it necessary to serve alcohol at all? Who will be policing the consumption? And again, WHY? Why alcohol? Why not just kugel and drinks? Given the consequences that she herself references, how about sticking to soda or coffee? Forget about the liquor and save the wine for where it belongs — at Kiddush Friday night.
Mrs. Yehudis Levi
Monsey, NY
Thank you for publishing Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber’s beautiful article “Redefining Rich.” In a world where the lure of excessive materialism often overshadows financial responsibility, teaching our children about money has never been more important.
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