PERSPECTIVES → INBOX Issue 968 · July 5, 2023

Inbox: Issue 968

“Many mediators find that the mediation model is so powerful that it can be used as well to save marriages”

Inbox: Issue 968

 

Never Say Always [Two-Part Harmony / Issue 967]

What a beautiful interview with Reb Yonasan Schwartz! I really daven that many heed his words on so many levels.

I would point that, as in all of life, the words “always” and “never” tend to be unhelpful.

One of my siblings had a challenging marriage and was making it work until she learned that her spouse was abusing the children. At that point, she had to leave, and she fought to get custody of her children (actually, there was no fight, as her spouse was found guilty on many abuse charges and ended up in prison).

People advised her that even if the parent has done all wrong it’s important for children to have a relationship with that parent. However, my brother told her to ask our rebbe first and see what he thought. The Rebbe told her that there are very rare situations where it’s best not to facilitate a relationship, and this is one. However, he cautioned her to simply not speak of her ex, and to label his behaviors without focusing on him. He also advised her to make sure the children keep in touch with their grandparents and extended family on her ex’s side, as they were not guilty. She did that, and she even split some Yamim Tovim with them.

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