Q

WE have four sons born consecutively who have always gotten along pretty well, baruch Hashem. While we’ve heard about the kind of civil wars this dynamic can bring about, we really haven’t had much of an issue with it. Each of our sons has a different personality and skill set, and now that they are older, they are each learning in different yeshivos, where they are all doing well.

The issue is with the third son. Yeshivah is working well for him, too — almost too well. We started him off in a mainstream yeshivah, but that wasn’t enough for him, so we moved him to another place more to the right. He’s now all the way into it — his peyos flying out from behind his ears, his posture stooped, and his glasses sliding down the end of his nose.

When our boys come home for bein hazmanim, for the first time ever, I sense real tension between them. It’s a clear three against one. They call him “Rosh Yeshivah” and imitate the way he walks and how he pronounces certain letters. It really hurts me to see this.

I do think there’s something deeply psychological at play — i.e., that my other three sons feel their brother is looking down on them, which makes them feel rejected and defensive.