Intimidated

P

eople recoil from anger. Glaring eyes accompanied by loud, angry voices frighten us, causing us to feel viscerally threatened. We’ll do a lot to avoid encounters with upset human beings.

“My 18-year-old daughter Yael has always been very rude to me. Recently, however, she crossed a line. When I refused to buy her an expensive pair of gloves, she insulted me mercilessly.

I reached out to a mental health professional for advice and she told me I need to set clear boundaries with my daughter. But I’m afraid to do that. I know how Yael responds to correction and I’m scared of her.”

Why is Mom scared of her own child? Is she afraid the teen will become violent and hurt her? Or does she imagine that Yael will destroy property or harm herself? That Yael will say more awful things? And if it’s this latter issue, why should that be of such concern that she won’t do what she needs to do as a parent? So what if Yael mouths off for a few more minutes? Isn’t that a price worth paying in order to put an end to the cycle of abuse?