There’s something to be gained from sibling rivalry
Siblings have a particular sensitivity to issues of fairness. “Why does he get to go with you?” “Why does she get new shoes?” The complaints are endless, all stemming from the feeling that
“the goods” aren’t distributed evenly; that other, more favored children are getting more.
And indeed, the distribution is uneven. Easy kids get more smiles, while challenging ones get more intervention. Children with behavioral, academic, or health concerns get more attention. Toddlers get more cuddles, teens get more freedom. And even if there was only one set of identical twins in the family, one would inevitably get a little more of something than the other because of their individual needs, and because parents don’t walk around with rulers and recording devices attempting to ensure a completely even distribution of words, portions, or anything else.
“I knew that if I got my grandkids identical bouncing balls, there would end up being some sort of conflict. So I got four of the same ball, each in a different color. My daughter told me later there was a huge battle over who got which color ball, and the one who ended up with the orange ball sulked in a corner for hours!” says one grandmother.
Really, it’s about the unfairness of it all, and the deep implications of that unfairness. Why did she get the blue ball? Do you love her more than me?
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