Abba is such a good man. He tried to tell me that even now, if I don’t want the surgery, we won’t do it
For the past half year, I’ve been standing at the top of a very steep, scary water slide, making up excuses, not knowing where I’ll find the courage to sit down and allow gravity to pull me downward.
But this week, when Abba went with Dudi to transfer the money to Dr. Barclay’s clinic, I felt like there were two strong hands on my back, pushing me. Or an unseen force that sent me flying straight down the water slide. Now there’s no turning back, and I can’t change my mind.
Abba is such a good man. He tried to tell me that even now, if I don’t want the surgery, we won’t do it. But I knew I wouldn’t back out. I saw what a burden this was for him, how worried he’d been for me. I saw Ima, who wanted so much to see me healthy and whole. I saw all my aunts and uncles, who’d collected a huge amount of money for me (that’s a big secret, though). There was no way I could change my mind now.
I saw myself. I really wanted to be fixed. My heart was fluttering with fear. Like when I was at the water park, about to get onto the slide that goes straight down. But that was over in half a minute (with me screaming “Shema Yisrael” all the way down), and this time I have 25 days until it’s done.
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