I was a Jew, I knew that, but I’d also copped out on my people, my team. As a Jew, did I have the heart of a field mouse?
I pulled up in front of her apartment, got out of the car, and put my new kosher tefillin on, saying everything the ArtScroll siddur said to say, with tears in my eyes and a rush of adrenaline, like I used to have before a game. Then I started praying to Hashem, “Please do not let me trip up. Please let me be real for once in my life. Let me do something really right for once in my life.” Tears rolled down my face as I thought about all the Jews who had suffered, about all the tragedies, and I wanted for that one moment to make it right for them, right for us.
I put the tefillin on as a shemirah. I went on the offensive. That’s a different level. Let’s do it for those who died al kiddush Hashem.
She was shocked and very angry, understandably so. Then came the accusations: “You’ve lost your mind and joined a cult!”
But thank G-d, I looked her in the eyes without hesitation and said, “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. But because I made one big mistake, I am not going to make a second one.”
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