Your marriage can help your kids’ marriages
T he children have grown up gotten engaged and will soon start their married lives. After witnessing their own parents’ marriages for a couple of decades they are now ready to embark on this new stage of life — or are they?
WHAT DO THEY REALLY KNOW?
If all the kids know is what they’ve superficially seen of their parents’ relationship they’re in deep trouble when it comes to marriage. Many have seen endless squabbling or other forms of chronic conflict. Lots have seen the “all-business” marriage — functional but lacking real warmth. All have seen the imperfect marriage (as all of life is imperfect) and even those who have seen a very good-looking marriage have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
Even if there’s only more good behind those doors children have no way of seeing the behind-the-scenes mechanics of their parents’ marriage: how the couple negotiates big and private issues how they recover from marital wounds how they’ve ensured and maintained their areas of success. In other words even though kids live in the same house as their parents they have relatively little knowledge of what goes into making marriage work.
MARRIAGE ENLIGHTENMENT
Although they can’t save their children from learning many lessons the hard way parents certainly can — and should — give over whatever wisdom they have acquired. Failure to do so can cause unnecessary suffering not only for the young couple but for the extended family as well.
