How can we ensure that Yamim Tovim and simchahs are fun, connected and tension-free?
Holidays, vacations, and simchahs are fabulous opportunities for memory making, connecting, and bonding. They’re also breeding grounds for triggers, fights, stress, and guilt. “How are we getting through ‘x’ event?” I’m often asked.
There are many different factors that can be playing a role here, even without any inherently conflictual or problematic dynamics. It’s simple math, actually: kids + different schedules + other kids/families + late nights/different surroundings = potential for stress. I put kids as the first factor, but you could take that factor out completely and the equation still makes sense.
Yom Tov is coming up, and that means lots of family time, followed closely by simchah season. How can we ensure that these special times are fun, connected and tension-free? There are so many different factors and individual realities, that one swooping solution may not apply. But good advice that works across the board? Tread gently. You can’t know everyone’s circumstances or feelings — you’re safest just judging favorably and being gentle.
Some common ways this plays itself out are:
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