I’ve been a third-grade teacher for 27 years now and have celebrated as many Chanukahs with my students in that time. When you multiply that by an average class of 30 students, you come up with a lot of mugs. A LOT of mugs.
Don’t misunderstand me — I’m as grateful as the next gal. And I chuckle each time I get a “Teachers Have Class” one (that would be 14 chuckles so far this year). I really do appreciate the time, the thought, the wrapping, and the biscotti that go into them, it’s just that… it’s a LOT of mugs.
I’m wondering if you can help me figure out a way to let the parents know that I can host an entire third-world country for coffee, and I’d really rather have a gift card to somewhere fun.
Here’s one clever way to do that: Write your request into an advice column and couch it as a question so that it doesn’t sound like you’re complaining, but you still make your point.
A veteran teacher once said to me, “If I can’t eat it up or use it up, I don’t want it.” I don’t know that everyone would agree with that, but it’s not a terrible place to start. Yes, parents, the teachers do appreciate every gesture of gratitude. And they mostly appreciate the note that goes with it. No matter what you do, they’re gonna love it. But chances are, they’ve got enough mugs.
You know how sometimes you meet people who’ve been dating for a long time and they say, “I’ve been around the block?” Well, I’ve been around the whole city. Suffice it to say I’ve drunk more Diet Coke past 9 p.m. than any human should, and I’m really tired.
Here’s my question. At what point (if any) do I get to say no to suggestions for superficial reasons, because I know that they just don’t work for me? How many short guys do I have to go out with before I can say no to a short guy I haven’t met? How many times do I have to convince myself (or be convinced by others) that it’s okay if a guy isn’t a professional, even though it means a lot to me to marry a professional? I have no problem keeping an open mind, but not so open that my brain falls out. When can I say, “Been there, done that. It doesn’t work for me.” When can I say no?
IF you’re asking when you can say it to others, the answer is “now” and “whenever you want.” No one gets to decide for you what’s important and what’s not, what’s superficial and what’s real. This is your life, and ultimately you’re the one who has to drink the Diet Coke.
I’m sensing, however, that this isn’t about other people. This is about answering yourself. It sounds like you’re questioning your right to refuse a date because there is always the chance that this will be the right one, and you might miss it because of something inconsequential.
