Without expectations, we can make Purim joyous again
P urim blues? Really? How can this joyous holiday be anything but joyous?
“Of course it’s my kids’ favorite holiday — the nosh the costumes the party — the whole megillah! But for me it’s everything I’m not good at wrapped up in one: I’m no chef I’m no hostess I’m not the least bit creative. It’s horrible to admit but I dread this holiday. Give me Yom Kippur anytime!”
Plenty of women suffer from the Purim blues. Men not so much. A man is more likely to be content fulfilling the mitzvos of the day in a low-key manner: go to shul drop a bottle of wine and a package of chocolates into a gift bag or — even better — purchase a prewrapped commercially prepared basket (if he’s arranging his own mishloach manos) give the kids his old hats to wear as costumes and show up at the seudah.
Purim is much more likely to induce stress and discomfort in women because the demands of the day tax their energies and abilities. Moreover many women place expectations upon themselves that turn the day into a pressure cooker rather than the happy spiritually elevated occasion it’s meant to be.
