See the good in your spouse by looking at him through parent-like eyes
One’s child is perfect. Others may see the youngster as lazy, immature, impulsive, or rude, but parents see their offspring as awesome, amazing, sensitive, brilliant, and flawless. Even when a parent can acknowledge a flaw or two, that slight imperfection is well within the tolerable range and may even be downright adorable. (“Yes, he tends to fabricate things, but oh! What a brilliant imagination he has!”)
Not so with other people’s children. Other people’s children are noisy, mean-spirited, demanding, and often obnoxious. They’re nowhere near as lovable as one’s own little angel. Which might explain why it is so difficult to love one’s spouse.
“My father is a renowned scholar,” says Deena. “He’s mature and wise. His serious and reflective attitude to life gave me the perspective I have till this day. My husband, Aaron, on the other hand, is a clown. He’s always joking around and, believe me, his jokes aren’t even funny. My kids — the oldest of whom is eight — think he’s a riot. Sure! He’s as immature as they are, and I just can’t respect him as a husband. To me, he’s just a silly little boy.”
Aaron, as it turns out, has a good job and supports his family without outside help. He’s responsible and reliable, well-liked by all who meet him. He steps up to the plate when it comes to household chores, doing most of the cooking, at least half of the cleaning, and all of the shopping. Yes, he’s a fun-loving, funny guy. But should that really be causing his wife so much grief? Does his boyish, fun-loving nature render this young man unrespectable and unlovable? What’s this all about?
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