It’s hard to know if someone’s parenting ideals are aligned with yours until there are real, live children
“I can’t believe we’re so perfectly aligned in our parenting strategies and will have children who will behave beautifully all the time!” said many starry-eyed shanah rishonah couples.
Heard that from any actual, real parents? I didn’t think so. Me neither.
While prior to marriage we try to find a spouse with as much compatibility as possible, it’s hard to know if someone’s parenting ideals are aligned with yours until there are real, live children. We can plan to be the most patient, loving, creative, supportive parents, and then feel extremely challenged by life’s circumstances, a child’s personality, or unhealed childhood wounds and triggers.
Disparate parenting styles between couples exist on a spectrum. Often spouses are basically on the same page, sharing the same vision, values, and end goals, but feel threatened by each other’s personality differences, which can dictate a variety of responses that may feel foreign.
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