Let’s Talk

Let’s Talk

Zipora Schuck

Over 50 years ago, a childhood educator overturned the conventional wisdom of not sharing certain information with children by saying that, “Anything that is human is mentionable, and anything mentionable is manageable.” While the old school of thought posited that, “They don’t need to know; if we don’t discuss it, they won’t think about it; certain things are too uncomfortable to talk about,” the contemporary approach is different. It recognizes that things happen in children, to children, and around children, and we as parents want to be the trusted and safe adults who can help them navigate that experience.

There are three common areas that parents are hesitant to discuss with their children: facts, feelings, and physicality.

Facts. Kids today are exposed to many difficult things, between death, serious illness, threats to personal safety, injustice, and trauma. Children need our help processing these things; they need information at the right time and in the right way.

It’s best to find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. First, gently find out what the child already knows so you can either build on that or correct any misconceptions. Provide information that is accurate and developmentally appropriate without graphic details. Reassure children that all reactions and feelings are normal. Separate the expectations on the adults in this situation from the responsibilities of the children.