Some kids are easier to raise than others. A well-behaved happy child does not prove that he has a wonderful parent nor does a defiant or aggressive child prove that his parent is a failure. In fact we can only judge the parent based on the parent’s behavior. The difficult child may have an awesome parent who — despite endless provocation — manages to discipline with respect and continues to offer love and encouragement.
THE “DIFFICULT” CONTINUUM
The “difficult child” comes in many varieties. One is the perfectly normal child who is simply strong-minded. This youngster is opinionated and needs to put in his two cents before he complies with a parental directive. Simple compliance is out of the question.
Then there’s the strong-willed child — the youngster who needs things done his own way in his own time. This one won’t cooperate with parental directives because he didn’t initiate them.
Further along the continuum we find the defiant child. This child doesn’t need a reason to refuse to listen it’s just who he is. In his world there is a constant war going on a battle between himself and the authorities. When the defiance occurs more frequently than would be expected in a child of that age and is accompanied by other symptoms such as blaming others vindictive behavior and meltdowns it may be a symptom of ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). The syndrome itself may be mild (occurs only in one setting such as the home) moderate (occurs in two settings such as home and school) or severe (occurs in three or more settings such as home school and recreational setting).
