The Right Balance    

Sometimes, it can feel like you’re doing all the work and your spouse isn’t chipping in as much. But is that an accurate perception of your household split? And if too much is resting on your shoulders, what can you do about that?

Faigie comes home from her job after stopping at the grocery and picking up the baby from day care. She barely has a minute to throw in a load of laundry and start boiling water for pasta before her three other children come bursting through the door.

Her husband, Shimmy, started working last year. By the time he gets home from his job, it’s often seven or later. By then, she’s putting the baby to sleep, starting bedtime, and finishing homework with the older ones. Shimmy enters in the middle of this. Between tasks, she makes him a plate of pasta and salad and eventually sits down to join him.

It doesn’t last long. Shimmy jumps up after 15 minutes. “I’m going to Maariv, and I told Yanky I’d play basketball with him after that,” he says.

Faigie smiles wanly. “Have a good time,” she says. As he exits stage right, she looks at the toys scattered everywhere, the dishes piled next to the sink, and the washing machine ready for its second load, and she bursts into tears.