The Role of Hishtadlus

Q:

As an older single I find I’m always trying to find the balance between hishtadlus and bitachon. Here we are at Tu B’Av and countless well-meaning friends are sending me links to this tzedakah, and that tefillah at a kever, etc. Plus, Tu B’Av always makes me feel pressure to start another round of reaching out to shadchanim when I know I’ve spoken to each one last year and the year before. The hishtadlus never seems to end. Can’t I say, “I’ve tried this all before, now I want to wait for Hashem to send me the right one?”

The Role of Hishtadlus

Elisheva Kaminetsky

R

av Wolbe writes in Alei Shor that anyone who thinks that bitachon’s easy has never needed to work on his bitachon; he’s been living his life on cruise control and mistakenly considers this brachah as bitachon. The reality is that it’s only once bitachon’s tested that we can work on questions such as yours.

The dating period, however long it lasts, can be the first test for some grappling with the dialectic of bitachon and hishtadlus. But there’ll definitely be other opportunities in life that will need your understanding of this balance: What is the role of hishtadlus if we’re meant to trust in Hashem?

Your question echoes what many of us feel. Hishtadlus never seems to end. It can be exhausting and even feel futile since we believe, bottom line, it’s all in Hashem’s Hands.

What’s essential is to realize that hishtadlus isn’t the opposite of bitachon. The proper perspective on hishtadlus is that it’s a vehicle to furthering our bitachon.