“The School Is Pushing for an Evaluation”

My son’s school is insisting on getting him evaluated so they can push us to medicate him. I think they’re looking for the easy way out, and we’re not afraid of doing the hard work necessary to raise a thriving child who happens to learn differently. Is there a point in trying to get them to see my side? And if yes, how can I do it?

Rabbi Yerachmiel Garfield

There is often a natural tension between parents’ protective feelings of their child and the school’s responsibility to the classroom environment. But there is meaningful value in trying to reach common ground

When a school insists that a child undergo an evaluation, some parents understandably feel pressured, especially if they worry that the school’s ultimate goal is to recommend medication. Many parents believe deeply in their children’s potential and are willing to invest significant effort to help them thrive without jumping immediately to medical interventions. This can naturally create tension. The parents feel protective of their child, while the school feels responsible for the classroom environment and the child’s academic progress.

The question becomes: Is it worth trying to get the school to see things from the parents’ perspective? And if so, how?

The first step is acknowledging that no one, not even the most dedicated parent, can compel a school to stretch beyond what it is realistically capable of handling. Each educational institution understands its staffing, resources, and limits better than anyone else. The hanhalah and staff are experts in what they can manage within a classroom setting, and sometimes what parents perceive as reluctance is actually the school recognizing its own constraints.

Still, there is meaningful value in trying to reach common ground. The most productive path is often to address the school’s concerns through alternative means, showing them that you take the situation seriously and that you are committed to supporting your child’s growth. Schools generally want to see progress; how that progress is achieved may be open to discussion. Bringing in outside help, hiring tutors, arranging skill-building sessions, or consulting specialists can all serve as strong signals that the family is actively and responsibly involved.