The Shivah 

Ineed to go to the shivah.

Of course, I was at the levayah. I hugged Shaindy tightly, trying to squeeze the pain out of her. But that was an almost out-of-body experience. It didn’t feel real, rather like a terrible dream I couldn’t wake up from.

But now, the dust has settled, the reality has hit me, and this pain is much harsher than the initial pain was.

I need to go to the shivah. I need to be there for Shaindy.

I don’t want to. I can’t.