The Worst of Both Worlds     

There’s an iced coffee from the Brunch Spot on the top shelf of the fridge when I open it to get out the cutlets I have defrosting.

I groan to myself. Yes, yes, it’s very sweet. I knooow! Shmuel is the best. It’s not his sweetness that’s the issue. It’s the speech he gave me last night about how there’s really no reason to be buying Starbucks and requesting soy milk, when there are an abundant number of heimishe, chalav Yisrael coffeehouses in Monsey. Which is true. But also, that makes it very clear that he doesn’t get Starbucks. It’s not really about the coffee. It’s about the idea, the feeling, the vibe, the clatter of the ice cubes in the plastic cup.

And also, let’s not pretend that his speech yesterday was the first Shmuel gave.

Nope, give the man his own TED Talk, because he’s got them down pat. There was the, “Should Eliana really be in sleeveless?” soliloquy.