This Is Crazy 

But from my crouched position, vacuum cleaner hose aimed at non-reachable corners, I benefit from the neutrality of an outsider’s perspective. Which means, when my sister calls to tell me that her kallah-daughter just got the most elaborate Purim Katan gift package, I’m not thinking, Help, I need to send my son’s kallah a Purim Katan gift package. I’m thinking, This is crazy. This is totally and completely crazy.

I’m not sure when this shift happened. I guess it was one gift at a time that brought us to this day. A day when a kallah will, without question, acquire a weekday bag, an evening bag, a cell phone purse, a jewelry roll, and a cosmetic bag, all with designer names and whistle-inducing price tags, during her engagement. Bags that her own mother — and more so, her chassan’s mother — never dreamed of owning. A day when the chassan’s siblings anticipate their custom gift packages of personalized swim bags, water bottles, monogramed towels and bathrobes, and designer sunglasses, along with a supermarket aisle of nosh before they head out to camp. After all, their brother is engaged. Everyone whose brother is engaged gets such a package.

Of course, when the chassan and kallah exchange gifts on Purim, their parents and siblings exchange gifts as well. Sometimes the mechutanim will exchange the very same (designer) cake stands that neither party has any use for. They need to do this, because that’s what everyone does.

I know a kallah who received a gift every Friday of her engagement. That totally makes sense. It’s Erev Shabbos and she’s a kallah!