WELLBEING → WORDS UNSPOKEN Issue 964 · June 7, 2023

To My Husband’s Therapist: the Conversation Continues

“Changes that occur during therapy can be difficult for both the person in treatment and their loved ones”

To My Husband’s Therapist: the Conversation Continues

 

To My Wife,

Thank you for supporting my process in therapy even though it’s so hard for you. I know I don’t say it often enough… thank you.

Please know I never plan to fall apart. It’s not like I sit in therapy and my therapist says: go right ahead, drop your life. My life has as many layers as an onion, and some I haven’t touched in years. In therapy, my therapist will ask me an innocent question, and it’ll trigger a thought or a memory in one of those layers. Then my therapist tries to help me regulate, but I get home, and I just can’t get it together.

I’m not ready to have you join my therapy. I’m so, so raw. The one time you did join me, I found that you really were about deadlines for change and that hurt me. I felt unheard and asked my therapist not to invite you back.

I know I often miss work and other responsibilities. Trust me: I don’t want to. I want to be the best husband and most responsible father. It’s such an excruciating battle for me, and I just don’t have the bandwidth to support you through it. But you deserve the support, and I wish you would listen to me and find your own therapist to guide you through dealing with a spouse who is falling apart. Yet you insist you don’t need the help….

Continue reading with Mishpacha.

Create a free account to keep reading.

Everything you need to stay close to Mishpacha.
← Previous installment Family First Inbox: Issue 845 Next installment → Family First Inbox: Issue 846