“Changes that occur during therapy can be difficult for both the person in treatment and their loved ones”
Thank you for supporting my process in therapy even though it’s so hard for you. I know I don’t say it often enough… thank you.
Please know I never plan to fall apart. It’s not like I sit in therapy and my therapist says: go right ahead, drop your life. My life has as many layers as an onion, and some I haven’t touched in years. In therapy, my therapist will ask me an innocent question, and it’ll trigger a thought or a memory in one of those layers. Then my therapist tries to help me regulate, but I get home, and I just can’t get it together.
I’m not ready to have you join my therapy. I’m so, so raw. The one time you did join me, I found that you really were about deadlines for change and that hurt me. I felt unheard and asked my therapist not to invite you back.
I know I often miss work and other responsibilities. Trust me: I don’t want to. I want to be the best husband and most responsible father. It’s such an excruciating battle for me, and I just don’t have the bandwidth to support you through it. But you deserve the support, and I wish you would listen to me and find your own therapist to guide you through dealing with a spouse who is falling apart. Yet you insist you don’t need the help….
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