What Time Is It?

IFyou have any appointments during the year 2498 — only 300 years from now — have no fear that you might forget them. I know of a watch that will remind you. It is a must-have accessory for busy people, and it will set you back — special price this week only — about $25,000. (That is twenty-five thousand, lest you omit any zeros.)

Once upon a time, a wristwatch was a clock small enough to fit around the wrist. But today, a wristwatch is not a wristwatch. Today, it is a timepiece, a chronograph, a chronometer. Your chrono-something not only tells you the time in Melbourne, or Moscow or Helsinki; it will also remind you of any appointments you might have during the next 300 years. Plus this invaluable new feature: You will learn when the full moon appears in New Delhi in November 2416.

But, you cry, I only want to know what time it is right now, right here, so I won’t be late for my appointment this afternoon. For that esoteric information, there is a special dial informing you of the time right now, right here. But surely you, who just shelled out 25K for this extraordinary chronometer, will not be content simply to know the time. For that, you could have bought an ordinary wristwatch without all those appended zeros.

Those added zeros give you the following indispensable information: a) Reminders of important dates and holidays until the year 2499. This helps you avoid the embarrassment of making any conflicting appointments in 2355; b) Every four years it automatically adds an extra day in February, so that you not be confused by those pesky February 29s for the next 350 years. At no extra charge, you also get a century’s listing of all the moon phases in New Zealand; c) Its pinpoint accuracy requires only a small adjustment every 100 years. Continues their flyer: “This is the way real freedom feels… with this feature you don’t have to bother with tiresome updates.” Agreed. This is a major contribution to one’s peace of mind, because pressing those buttons every hundred years could be very tiring.