D
ear Preschool Parent
Taking care of young children is physically and emotionally exhausting even while it’s gratifying and rewarding. I know it’s not simply a job but avodas hakodesh as I try to instill the children with middos tovos and a yearning to do mitzvos a love of Hashem and His Torah — and an enjoyment of school. Baruch Hashem I’ve been successful for close to 30 years.
But right now I’m overwhelmed by sadness and worry. Put very simply many children today aren’t getting the parenting needed for developing healthy yiras Shamayim. In an attempt to curry favor with their children parents have relinquished their authority and are not guiding or instilling rules. Instead they allow their children to dictate what they “choose” to do or “feel” like doing.
True parents today can’t be as strict as they once were and they have to choose their battles — but they’ve gone to the other extreme. While I am in favor of asking children their opinions and wishes I see many parents who don’t set limits and allow their children free rein even when it’s totally inappropriate.
Like when a parent brought her son to class on the day of our alef-beis siyum. He was covered in a rash but hadn’t seen a doctor. Why? “I wanted to take him but he didn’t want to go” the mother told me. So instead of doing the right thing she agreed to his demands and brought him to class regardless of whether or not he was infectious. I understood that the child didn’t want to miss the siyum and so told the child we wouldn’t start without him but that he had to see the doctor. He refused. The mother started bribing the child with treats. He still refused and started flailing his arms at her. At that point I simply insisted they go. That was 25 years ago and I thought things couldn’t get worse. Well they did!
