Compromising on our standards to preserve our relationship with our children can be challenging, even painful
My older teenage daughter asserts that she loves our family and respects our lifestyle, but she’s also made it very clear she intends to chart a different path for her own life. While her dream lifestyle would go over very well in any number of beautiful Torahdig communities around the world, it’s very different from what she’s seen at home.
Of course, things may change as she gets older and settles down, but right now, she seems deeply entrenched in this vision of hers. She’s recently begun demanding that we allow her to do or buy things that aren’t in line with the spirit of our home, (though they might be perfectly acceptable in the future community of her dreams).
Over the years, we’ve made a number of concessions to give her the space she wants to grow and explore, but her more recent demands are centered on issues that we feel very strongly about. While none of this is a matter of strict halachah, we think these things are absolutely wrong, and we’re in the unenviable position of needing to choose between our principles and making her happy.
The conflict is generating a fair amount of stress in our home, and often it seems it would just be easier to give in to her demands than to stand our ground. But I’m naturally reluctant to, and I often wonder if it’s worth the collective stress when none of this is a matter of halachos/mitzvos/aveiros. On the other hand, am I really obligated to purchase or allow something I believe is downright wrong in my own home?
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