The Haves and Have-Nots

The month of Adar, and the holiday of Purim in particular, reminds us to bring ourselves into a higher state of happiness. The notion that we can intentionally heighten our feelings of joy in this month teaches a valuable life lesson: Happiness is an inside job. It depends on us, rather than on outside circumstances. And yet, it’s common to think of happiness as arising (or falling) from our life experiences.

“My husband is so unromantic. He doesn’t even know when my birthday is. My friends get gorgeous pieces of jewelry from their husbands, flowers, chocolates, and more, but I never get so much as a card,” says Dafna.

Dafna isn’t just making an observation about her husband. She’s truly suffering. Her heart is breaking because she herself is such a giving, loving, openhearted person. To have to live with a cold partner is very difficult for her.

“My sister’s husband adorns her with gifts even on a regular weekday, for no reason whatsoever! He’s just a generous, amazing husband. Why couldn’t I have gotten a guy like that?”