On Your Mark with Jessica Tsur

Change overwhelmed me. In anticipation of a family trip to Disney World, I developed such bad physical pain that the doctor thought I had appendicitis. At age seven, I was being pushed around Disney Word in a stroller. In hindsight, it’s clear that any upheaval in environment — even one as awesome as a trip to Disney — caused severe anxiety to the point of physical pain.

There was no Orthodox life in Manchester, New Hampshire, but I did love the NCSY shabbatons in the nearby towns. After high school, my religious journey took a hiatus during my first years of college, but then I spent a semester in Hebrew University. In the holy city, I felt pain every time I didn’t keep Shabbos.

A series of impossible twists of fate, including a statistically improbable Jerusalem snowfall that was an obvious sign from Heaven, led me to meet the wonderful group of frum girls with whom I’d ultimately move to Manhattan.

I still had one year of college to wrap up in New Hampshire, and it was hellish. I began suffering severe lightheadedness and would be so dizzy that I’d grip the sides of my desk during class to keep from collapsing. I couldn’t work out or get together with friends — I never felt well. I visited conventional doctors, underwent tests, saw homeopaths, but no one could pinpoint any physical cause. In this debilitated state, I moved to NYC with the group of friends I’d made in Israel.