“My Son Never Calls Home”

Q:

MY son just finished his second year of beis medrash. During high school he slept at home, but he dorms at beis medrash. His first year there, we spoke to him several times a week. It wasn’t the easiest adjustment, and we tried to give him chizuk and keep him updated on all the family happenings.

This year he barely called us — we considered ourselves lucky if he called once a week and remembered to wish us a good Shabbos. My husband says that’s a good sign, that he’s found his place in yeshivah and no longer needs constant encouragement and connection with his parents. But I feel like we’re losing our bond with our son.

Are we only supposed to speak to him during bein hazmanim? Is that really a healthy arrangement and a sign of successful integration?

A:

AS usual, when two parents have different opinions, they are both right! When your son needed you, you were there for him, and now that he is more independent, you still want to keep a connection with him, even if he does not “need” it.