Learn how to rewire your own brain
We all get stuck in behavioral ruts. Imagine being able to say “I no longer shout at my spouse; that’s behind me now” or “I no longer procrastinate on unpleasant tasks — I put an end to that.” Imagine yourself being able to change any behavioral pattern you want.
The Technology of Change
When it comes to parenting an excellent strategy for helping kids wire in new behaviors is the CLeaR Method. Essentially the parent gives three forms of positive attention (comments labels and rewards) to a new appropriate behavior.
For example if a child has a habit of leaving her coat on a chair the parent attends to the desirable behavior (i.e. “You hung up your coat! That was so organized of you! Since you did it without me even having to ask I’ll play a game of Boggle with you”). In combination with the child’s own behavior (she hung up her coat) the parent’s comment (“I noticed…”) label (“that was so organized…”) and reward (“game of Boggle…”) will quickly and painlessly wire a new circuit in the youngster’s brain called hang up coat.
The CLear Method for Grownups
Adults too can use the CLeaR Method to change their behavior. This is how Tammy described her own negative behavior pattern:
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