Dear Very Important Person in My Life

Dear Very Important Person in My Life,

I’m sorry.

I know I hurt your feelings, and you were offended by what I said. I apologize. I really do. My intention wasn’t to hurt you; I feel terrible that this resulted from my actions.

For me to apologize, you need to let me. And I can’t do that if you ignore my phone calls, give me the cold shoulder, and use the silent treatment on me. I don’t know what runs through your mind when you see my name on the phone, or when you read my
emails. I wonder if you’re hurting or seething.

I know you don’t want to give me a chance to find an excuse or explain myself, but people do mess up. We make mistakes all the time. Even more importantly, the mistakes that many of us make are literally that: mistakes. I wasn’t out to get you, and my goal wasn’t to attack you.

I know that now you think I’m shifting the blame, saying, “Everyone makes mistakes, and it’s just a part of life.” I’m not. I don’t believe in shifting the blame, but in owning what you’ve done. I always tell my students, “It’s okay to make a mistake. It’s not okay if you don’t fix it.”