There’s a fundamental difference between justifying and explaining
Picture this scenario at the office: You’ve updated the software on a shared computer to improve efficiency and security, a change you know will benefit everyone. However, when your coworker discovers the update, she complains. “Why did you change the software? I was comfortable with the old version!” In this moment, do you feel the urge to justify your actions?
There’s a fundamental difference between justifying and explaining.
Providing an explanation for your actions can be constructive. Sharing your thought processes, displaying sound logic, and providing context can help others understand the reasons behind your decisions, preventing resistance and friction. It may help ease others’ anxiety, frustration, or even anger.
Explaining is significantly different from justifying. When you explain, you share your reasons, but when you justify you’re seeking approval or agreement for your actions. You’re asking, hoping, or even begging the other person to see things your way, to put their stamp of approval on your decisions, to concur that they’re sound, or even that you’re sane. Although often done with the best of intentions, trying to convince someone that your excuse is valid essentially authorizes them to pass judgment on your action. If it meets with their approval, phew! Conflict avoided. But if it doesn’t, then there’s a loser and a winner, and this is even more likely to lead to stress and tension.
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