“No, you aren’t what you choose to eat. You are neither a carrot stick nor an Oreo”
I’m writing in response to the “future mother-in-law’s” letter to the editor, in which she bemoans the expenses of having two or more of her sons dating simultaneously and complains that Mrs. Eisemann’s advice in her Matchquest column didn’t acknowledge that.
It does indeed sound very costly to have sons in shidduchim. But if you advise your sons not to go out to eat before a fourth date, no one will take umbrage with that stance. However, the question Mrs. Eisemann was addressing in her Matchquest response described extremely cheap behavior, rather than someone who is somewhat economical.
That’s a huge distinction.
The boy Mrs. Eisemann was referring to couldn’t understand why his date might need a cold drink in extremely hot weather. Is he able to feel anyone else’s discomfort or is his goal of never spending an extra dollar superseding his ability to be empathetic? I can assure you that a fellow like this can’t understand why his wife needs a new sheitel. Ever. Or a dress. Or anything. Because he’s totally fine with living with histapkus b’muat to a great extreme. If his wife is too, it isn’t an issue. But most young women today will not be fine with this. I advise the girl dating him to have a serious conversation about it and tread very carefully.
Lots of hatzlachah to the letter writer and this mom with sons in shidduchim.
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