How can I balance this relationship?

You asked

I’ve been blessed with a large family, b”H. The COVID-19 outbreak has meant all ages and stages are suddenly home together. This translates into varying emotional and physical needs to be met all day, every day. It’s exhausting, and if I don’t stay one step ahead, it can spell disaster for everyone.

For every person “staying one step ahead” will mean something else; for me, it’s focusing on my family (easier said than done — it’s a full-time job), my simchas hachaim (also easier said than done, and also a full-time job), working to keep my house in order (let’s not even go there!), and trying to ensure there’s normalcy and security inside my home.

Truthfully, nurturing friendships and connecting with friends hasn’t been on my radar for the past three months. I’m not a martyr; it’s simply not a need I have. If I do want to connect for a few minutes, I find myself gravitating toward the friend or two whose approaches are similar to mine and who understand my particular situation. A funny text, a quick phone call with my coffee, an upbeat checking-in to see how the other is doing. Key word: Upbeat.

There’s a particular friend who I struggle interacting with these days. In the best of times she’s more emotionally needy; she has a number of challenges,, and her way of coping is deep relationships with others. In “normal times,” this is manageable (albeit occasionally difficult) for me, but now her struggles are exacerbated, as is the intensity of her personality.