How Do I Help My Son Regulate His Emotions?

One of my children is very emotional. He’s often consumed by his feelings, be they happy, sad, mad, or anxious. I know that it’s very important to validate him, but his emotions so often handicap him because he can’t move past them.

I’m wondering how you validate a child’s feelings, but also encourage him to move past those feelings. How do I help my son regulate his emotions without invalidating his feelings? If you have any insights, suggestions, or advice I would so appreciate it!

Many thanks.

This is such an important parenting question! Children’s feelings happen from moment to moment, whether they’re intense and overtly expressed as in your son’s case, or subdued and internalized, as can occur in other youngsters. The way parents respond to these feelings can make the difference between raising an emotionally healthy human being and raising one who might suffer serious emotional and relational challenges in adulthood.

You’re correct that it’s important to validate feelings. In fact, doing so is an evidenced-based strategy for helping your child become more “emotionally intelligent.” Validating feelings involves three steps: