A Different Kind of Marriage

Hashem made all kinds of people, both neurotypical (“regular”) and neurodivergent (“different”). Many of us have neurodivergent children: lovable, pure souls with a variety of challenges. Some may have ADHD. Some may be “on the spectrum.” Some may have severe anxiety and some of those might have OCD; some might have sensory issues and some, difficulties with mood or emotional regulation. Whatever challenges they have, they need and deserve a life filled with love.

Married to Neurodivergent

“How should I have been able to identify my husband’s symptoms when we were dating? No one said anything about Levi’s problems. Of course, that’s because the kind of problems he has would probably only be seen by his family. I’m sure his teachers knew nothing about his picky eating habits or his aversion to showers. I’m sure his friends wouldn’t have noticed how forgetful he can be.

“And in the few weeks we dated, he showed his best side, of course. So I only found out the truth about my husband after we married — and it didn’t take long.”

What did Shoshana discover? She learned that Levi was disorganized, messy, and forgetful. “I was pregnant and exhausted and I got angry with him a lot in those early months. Couldn’t he just wash his own dish properly?” The first few years of family life were hectic. Shoshana managed to make a Jewish home, work full-time, and see to it that her family was well cared for. She learned the hard way that asking Levi to do car pool, pick up items from the grocery, or watch a soup to make sure it didn’t boil over, was futile. “When he neglected to pay a bill, I thought Levi was just being lazy. I’d get so upset with him over these things, and we had lots of fights.”