“How Do I Know What My Tafkid Is?” 

Facilitated by Faigy Peritzman

Q:

When I was younger, I often heard shiurim discussing how to define your tafkid in life. I clearly remember one seminary teacher stating you should look at what’s easy for you and at what’s hardest for you, and let those two parameters define your tafkid. It all sounded so idealistic and clear-cut.

However, as I’ve grown older, I feel that my tafkid has shifted based on the circumstances of my life, not leaving me to figure it out on my own. My single years demanded the kochos of emunah and tefillah. When I got married, I worked on vatranus. Early motherhood meant patience and more tefillah. Older kids meant acceptance and, of course, more tefillah. Now, I baruch Hashem have just had my first grandchild and am aware that the years are moving faster. Have I even concentrated on fulfilling my unique tafkid or just reacted to life’s nisyonos? Perhaps I’ve missed the boat. But how else am I supposed to figure this out?

Hineni

Shevi Samet

WE

all know we have a tafkid in this world, yet sometimes, we are so consumed with trying to identify our tafkid that we may actually undermine our ability to fulfill it.

Fundamentally, every person in this world has the same mission: revealing G-dliness. The unique way we do this is what people generally refer to as their tafkid. There is no foolproof way to know with 100 percent certainty what our pathway to this revelation actually is. We have no control over it, no way of choosing it or shaping it. Our tafkid can and does evolve based on whatever Hashem determines is the ideal context for us.

Suppose you’re a teacher (guilty!), and on a deep level, you sense your tafkid is to reach your students and guide them (also guilty!). One morning, you wake up with the worst case of laryngitis. You clearly aren’t teaching today, but does that mean you don’t have a tafkid? Of course you do. Yesterday, today, and im yirtzeh Hashem tomorrow, you have a tafkid, despite having different tools with which to accomplish it. The only thing static about our tafkid is that it’s our personal revelation of Hashem in this world.

Avraham Avinu’s tafkid had been to teach people that Hashem is One and idolatry is false. When Hashem tells him to sacrifice his long-awaited son, the nisayon wasn’t only personally painful. It also had the potential to threaten his life’s mission and cause a tremendous chillul Hashem. And despite his reservations, Avraham says, “Hineni.” I am here, where You put me, showing up as best as I can, given the circumstances. Nowadays, we don’t have ruach hakodesh or nevuah, meaning we lack total clarity. We do, however, have our own intuition. Discerning our tafkid is one of the hardest things we contend with. Sometimes, we don’t want to be where we are, we want to be where we imagine we would be most impactful. In our classroom, teaching inspiring words of Torah, not in bed, nursing a sore throat! But wherever we are, wherever He places us, by responding hineni, we are glorifying Hashem and fulfilling our tafkid.