How do we ace this in-law relationship dynamic? In a line: Establish healthy boundaries while showing respect and love
Abby Delouya RMFT-CCC, CPTT
You call them Ma and Ta, or Shver and Shvigger, or Madame and Monsieur (if you’re traditional French Moroccan). Your in-laws are important people in your lives and it’s possible to have a respectful, loving, and supportive relationship with them. (I’ve seen it many times!) Sometimes, though, the relationship isn’t as smooth, and can be a source of sadness and upset for everyone in the triangle — biological child, in-law child, and parents.
We all want our spouses to have healthy, close, and loving relationships with their parents. We want an additional set of parents to admire and learn from, to rely on for support, to give nachas to. That doesn’t always happen though….
What happens when the parent-child relationship isn’t properly differentiated and feels inappropriately close and enmeshed?
What happens when there’s a lot of criticism, a lack of boundaries, meddling from the in-law parent?
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