The Sound of Love

IN family life, there’s lots to do. There’s a loving way and there’s a business-like way.  “Okay, it’s time to put away the toys.” “Get your homework sheets out now.” “Close the books now; it’s time to go to sleep.” “Everyone up, please; it’s already late.” A parent can bark orders — or even just utter them — all day long. And while this may be efficient, helping to get things done, it does nothing to build the relationship. The difference between conveying love and simply directing behavior is like the difference between eating food and living on intravenous nutrition. Yes, an IV can sustain a person’s life, but there’s no joy, satisfaction, or pleasure. Without the language of emotion in family life, there’s efficiency, but the connection is missing.

Wife: “Honey, dinner’s on the table. Are you coming?”

Husband: “I’m busy. I’m doing the taxes.”

No hostility and no bad intentions. No love either. This wife feels as if a cold bucket of water has just been dropped on her head. The facts were delivered, but the love was not.