Spending Midwinter at Home Sweet Home? Good Luck to You!

For years, there has been no better time to find parking in Brooklyn than the third week of January, when 80% of the population flocks to warmer destinations. (Incidentally, there is no worse time to find parking on Harding Ave.)

But this year, more people than ever are avoiding nonessential travel and having their midwinter vacation at home sweet home. Concerned citizens submitted their questions.

Our kids’ yeshivah put out a statement that any travel over midwinter vacation would require a two-week quarantine upon return, so we all decided against those tempting $19 Miami tickets. A true nisayon. However, I just discovered that my neighbors are going anyway and have no plans to quarantine. Is it rude if I take them off my shalach manos list? (Yes, I’ve already made a list, purchased containers, and sourced costumes. Get on my level.)

This is not a citizen’s arrest opportunity; consider that your neighbor may hold by the globally accepted psak of “those who have antibodies can do whatever they want.” Unless you’ve personally taken and tested their blood, stay out of it. If you have taken and tested their blood, please turn yourself into the closest authorities, do not pass go, and do not collect $200.

During my daughter’s nightly three-way call with that day’s best friends, (“It’s not like anyone else uses the landline, MOTHER”), she found out that her friend’s mom is planning a new theme for every day of vacation, complete with customized activities, meals, and projects. I cannot and do not want to compete, but apparently everyone else is way more fun and I’m depriving her of a normal childhood. Am I a failure as a mother?

The information given above is insufficient to determine your level of failure, so it’s possible. But you’re probably fine. There’s one way to tell for sure: Did you buy your kids those $100 Swedish knapsacks that they must have since everyone else in the world has them, and if they don’t have the cool knapsacks, why even bother going to school? No? Well, in that case… we have some bad news for you.