GREAT READS → FAMILY FARCE: PURIM 5783 Issue 951 · February 28, 2023

Know This? — A Writer’s Sister         

Did you know that Mishpacha does not offer subscriptions to each of their writers’ siblings?

Know This? — A Writer’s Sister         

 

Being the sister of a Family First writer has its perks. For example, there are times that we’re privy to the backstory behind the Inbox hock. “Oh, yes,” the sister will say, “we got at least ten million letters about [CENSORED], but the Rav said we couldn’t print them.” And I’ll never forget the frantic email I received: Family First is running low on existential crises! Has something been bugging you? Now’s the time to bring it up!” I got my parenting techniques answered out of that one. A whole article devoted to handling my Shimmy’s temper tantrums. For free. The article was based around the Shimmy-and-me dynamic, so I got to be the first-level editor and asked all my questions in the guise of making this a better article. Yup. A definite perk.

And let’s not forget the infinite bragging rights this affords me. I’ll be sitting in the park, hearing about this friend’s four-course supper and that friend’s Pesach cleaning updates. “Oh, yeah?” I can counter proudly. “Well, my sister wrote this week’s Lifetakes. Lifetakes! In Family First! You know, like, Mishpacha? The magazine?” Everyone’s always blown away. Often, they’re so blown away that they need to hurry home to collect themselves. I get it. Proximity to fame, especially at first, can be overwhelming.

But there are downsides, too. Did you know that Mishpacha does not offer subscriptions to each of their writers’ siblings? I mean, how else are we supposed to keep track of every word our sisters and brothers publish in frum media? They expect me to pay for it? I love you, Sis, but have you heard of inflation? Turns out I don’t love you that much.

There’s also the pomposity we sisters have to put up with. Like, I don’t share nursing home stories with the whole world, and certainly not budgetary ones — that’s definitely protected by my NDA — but I don’t either keep my sister hostage on the phone until my house is clean, “bouncing” ideas off her to hear the everyman’s take on whether there is potential to another therapy column and whether random readers are sick of discussing weight. And then the way she says, “Oh, I can’t really give you all the details. Whatever, you’ll see it in the mag in a couple of weeks.” Just who do you think you are, dear sister?

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