Drop the binary thinking with tools to stay in the gray
AH,to be a child. When we’re young, the world feels simpler.
And in many ways, it is.
Our early thinking is generally black-and-white: something is good or bad, right or wrong, safe or dangerous, milchig or fleishig. You can be “the best Mommy ever” as you dole out ice cream, only to morph into “the worst Mommy ever” when you don’t allow bonfires in the den. There’s little room for complexity.
This binary thinking is both useful and protective. It helps kids make sense of a confusing world and makes them feel secure when they’re too young to hold opposing truths at once.
As we grow, we develop the ability to see nuance. We begin to understand that someone can love us and still disappoint us. A friend can forget your birthday and still care deeply about you. An apology can be clumsy and still be sincere. This ability to see in shades of gray is a sign of emotional maturity.
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