It may surprise you how much you can still serve them and be a part of their daily lives
Moderated by Faigy Peritzman
My parents have lived close to us for 20 years, in what I thought was a win-win situation. The kids love having their grandparents hands-on, and my parents benefit from the help and support we offer them as they age.
Recently my parents sprung a surprise, telling us they plan to move out of town to somewhere more rural, saying they’re tired of city life. We were shocked. They even suggested we move with them, but that’s not possible given my kids’ schooling and my husband’s work and shul.
While they seem to accept our decision not to accompany them, they’re determined to make this move, and I’m anticipating there will be a slew of difficulties in store for them. I don’t think they realize how much their pace has slowed over the years or how many things we take care of for them — doing the grocery shopping, filling prescriptions, or just hanging curtains and pictures when Bubby wants to do a spring cleaning. They’re too self-reliant to hire cleaning help or an aide, but I think they’re in denial as to how much help they actually need.
I know if I make it clear I don’t want them to make this move, they won’t, but as their child, how can I respond that way towards my parents’ wishes? In general, what’s my role as a daughter when I see my parents make decisions that aren’t in their best interests or may even be harmful to them?
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