“My Daughter’s School Dress Code Isn’t Mine”

Moderated by Faigy Peritzman

MY

oldest daughter was just accepted to high school for next year. The school where she is going is an excellent one which fits our lifestyle and hashkafos. The only catch is they have an extremely strict dress code, enforcing rules that have less to do with halachah and more to do with sensitivities, peer pressure, and the like. My daughter knows she is expected to follow all these new rules and is totally on board with them. The issue comes up with me. Many of these new rules, like limited cosmetics, no name brands, are definitely not the standards of what I am used to, nor how I plan to continue.

This came up in a conversation with my sister-in-law who also sends to this school. She congratulated me on my daughter’s acceptance and asked me if I was going to find it difficult to stop my weekly manicures. I was surprised and answered that I wasn’t planning on changing my own dressing standards. Obviously, my daughter’s required to keep the school’s standards, even what they expect out of school settings, and she’s fine with that. But why me? I’m not the one signing  these rules.

My sister-in-law was appalled at my level of hypocrisy and the mixed messages I’m sending to my daughter. I don’t see it that way. School rules don’t necessitate that the entire family has to undergo changes like that, do they?

Rabbi Shneur Aisenstark

Principal of Bais Yaakov Montreal since 1967.

I’d like to begin by sharing a story that happened to me when I first became principal of Bais Yaakov of Montreal.