Fight the instinct to focus on bad behavior

W e all know that we’re supposed to “focus on the positive.”

Yet in the moment most of us will instinctively do just the opposite.

Let’s consider the following scenarios:

• Five children are at the table. Several are involved in a squabble and the racket is grating on our nerves. We tell “everyone” to stop bickering keep their hands to themselves and eat.

• It’s bedtime. We issue instructions for everyone to get into pajamas. Ten-year-old Levi continues reading as if we hadn’t said a word. We tell him “Levi! That includes you!”