Your marital happiness depends on… you
Rate your current level of personal happiness between 1 and 10 where 10 is a state of high energy personal well-being and pleasure in living. The number you arrive at is a result of both internal and external factors: You have an inborn “set level” of contentment but this number rises and falls in response to events in your life biorhythms physical factors and your personal skill in mood management.
Now rate your level of marital happiness between 1 and 10 where 10 is a state of high satisfaction partnership closeness and trust. Whatever number you come up with on this measure reflects the combination of your own level of personal happiness as just described and the behavior of your spouse.
Unfortunately the behavior of your spouse is not totally within your control. Consequently a poorly behaved partner or one who has mental health concerns personal stress management deficits or other problems will lower your rating for marital happiness. It’s far easier to be happily married to a person who is happy and functioning well.
The Unhappy Spouse
Your spouse’s personal happiness score also affects your own personal happiness score. For example you may be a naturally happy person with daily average scores of 7 or so. However living with your angry negativistic partner lowers your mood to a degree. When you’re away from home you might still experience your usual level of contentment but at home you may slip down to a 6 or even less. Years of living with an unhappy spouse may eventually bring your own personal happiness level down to a 6½.
