Mothers get too much blame for their children’s issues
Modern mothers are all too aware of their human limitations. They tend to blame themselves for their children’s problems. Perhaps they didn’t listen well enough, say “I love you” often enough, give enough or take away enough. Perhaps they were too distracted, too busy, or too bossy. They know that they must have failed in a million ways because they know they’re imperfect. What they erroneously think, however, is that this imperfection has ruined or will ruin their children.
I recently read a disturbing book that documents the experiences of a family with 12 children, six of whom suffered from schizophrenia. The story was disturbing for many reasons, but what stood out most strongly was how much blame those in the story placed on the mother for her children’s condition.
What’s interesting, though, is that the mother wasn’t having any of that. She didn’t see it as her fault. There’s a lot we modern mothers can learn from her confidence.
The protagonist, Mimi, was a woman who did her best to raise ten sons and two daughters while her husband was mostly absent (first due to work and then due to illness). Six of her sons were extremely ill. Their story involves violence, murder, suicide, and abuse — the extreme consequences of extreme mental illness. Mimi ran her own “hospital ward” in her home, looking after these dangerous young men until her own death in 2017.
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