True Comfort

Most parents want their children to feel confident. They understand that a lack of confidence is a form of fear, something they don’t want their children to experience. Therefore, parents do a lot to ensure that their children possess the trait of confidence.

But when they undertake the task of building confidence in their children, they find that confidence is something they can’t actually give their children. The most they can do is “boost” confidence — nurture and encourage it.

The Confidence Curve

“My mother was extremely critical, and I grew up to be very insecure,” says one woman. “I didn’t believe in myself at all, and I always blamed her for that. But my sister didn’t react the same way. She was confident even as a toddler. I remember one time when she was just a little kid and Mom told her that her blouse and skirt didn’t match and therefore didn’t look good. My sister just stood up tall and said, ‘Well, I like it!’ Whenever Mom would say the same sort of thing to me, I’d be devastated.”

Sensitive souls can easily lose confidence in childhood as they’re subjected to harsh adult judgment and/or peer rejection. Some people’s confidence is easily derailed by comparisons. “I started learning cake decorating, but my sister is so much better at it than I am that I decided to give it up.” And some people have such harsh inner critics they never measure up to their very own standards: “I hate this dimple. It ruins my whole face.”